We weren't raised to be focused on food or what we ate and until a few years ago I truly could eat whatever rubbish I wanted and never gain weight. Basically I ate because I had to. Not really because I enjoyed food. I didn't appreciate wholesome good foods. I didn't understand the necessity of eating correctly. I didn't realise the impact healthy food has on your body, mind and spirit.
Nor did I care.
I also lived through some very stressful years with my work, my miscarriages and mum's health ordeal in 2001 where I barely ate anything. In fact I could go ALL day with only eating Weetbix. And I was very skinny. And very unhealthy. And I must admit I would constantly have an empty, gnawing, HUNGRY feeling in the pit of my stomach. But I was too busy, too stressed and too distracted to really take any notice or to care too much about it.
I remember laughing to a friend once, that all I needed to lose weight was a big dose of stress. Was I for REAL??? Certainly a screwed up way to lose weight and a screwed up way of thinking.
If I had to pinpoint what the hell happened to me and why on earth am I carrying around some extra, unwanted and ugly weight, then it would be the introduction of computers, scrapbooking and our changing lifestyle within our family dynamics.
Sitting in front of a computer screen ALL day is not the way to lose weight or live a healthy lifestyle. Forgetting to eat breakfast, skipping lunch and then gorging oneself before, during and after dinner is not the way to maintain a balanced, nutritious diet. Eating a bowl of Rice Bubbles before bed is SO not good for the digestive system. One glass of water, late in the afternoon ONLY because I am SO thirsty and I can FEEL the water quenching my body as I drink it, is NOT a great way to hydrate!
And while I used to fly around the place teaching at retreats and conventions for my work etc and I was physically BUSY, I am now a different sort of busy. While my work life is flat out every day, most of it is done on a computer with long periods of sitting!
PLUS our kids aren't little anymore.
I remember carrying Capri everywhere. I had muscles on my muscles on my RIGHT arm only! I did the same with both boys. I think I even carried Brandt until he turned 5 years old as his little legs would get tired at the shops. I was always on the go because of the kids. I would be rushing, carrying, picking them up, lifting them on and off the toilet, the back step, the decking, in and out of their carseats, picking things off the ground continually, folding and unfolding the pram, lifting the pram in and out of the car boot.. rushing from the school to the pre-school to the shops etc etc. I was always rushing. I was always busy. I was always moving!
These days I drive them around rather than carry them - obviously I would not have a hope in hell of picking up Brandt these days as he's now 20 years old!! And life is still hectic and busy but they are also independent and do a lot of things for themselves.
Our family dynamics are now very different.
So. Over the last few years the kilos have crept on. Seven of them. Enough for me to be uncomfortable and unhappy with myself. And to hate the flubby belly I am now sporting.. I am DETERMINED to lose the seven kilos. This is huge for me as I have never willingly prepared myself to lose weight in a healthy diet/fitness/exercise way. I've never been on a diet. I've never really taken all that much notice of what I am eating. I've never been very conscious of good and bad foods or calories.
And as the kick off gets closer, I am starting to get prepared and more importantly FEEL prepared!
Three more sleeps.