We're home from Canberra. (Warning long post below, read on if you wish to..I want to get all this down for my own records:) plus to share with the family)
We had an emotional time away. The funeral was as lovely as a funeral can be. And packed with people. There were several hundred there. Over 100 people seated and so many more spilling out of the place into the side and back courtyards. And not a dry eye in the place.
Lyn was so strong. I admire her enormously. Though her emotion was so raw she met and welcomed everyone. She thanked them. Hugged them. Told them how much she appreciated them coming. And she held it together so bravely. Until the end. When they played You Raise Me Up..the emotion was just enormous. From everyone.
Rob and Lyn's beautiful children were also so strong. What a hard thing to do at such tender ages of 16, 13 and 11yrs. And so hard to witness. Life can throw some curved balls at times!
For Jamison and Capri it was their first funeral. And it was quite a confronting experience for all three of our kids. But we were so proud of them. It was a big deal and I know that the three of them are glad that they went even though it was so sad and an emotional time and that they cried throughout the whole service. I kept telling them that even though it was so so sad, it was also a chance to say goodbye to Rob and also a chance to celebrate in his life as well.
Ken was one of the pall bearers, along with Steven, Rob & Lyn's eldest. He's sixteen. And it broke my heart to see him there, in front of Ken and carrying his dad up to the altar like that. And the feelings of 'this is just so not fair' hit me again..
And then the lovely eulogies. John, Rob's eldest brother spoke first. A lovely talk all about Rob's life. He was strong. He spoke clearly and he read messages from all the other brothers and sisters, and Rob's dad while a slide show of photos played out on a huge screen before us.
Ken spoke next.
He spoke so well. He stopped a few times to compose himself which only made what he was saying more real. And he got through his speech beautifully. There were light moments as well throughout Ken's speech. Humourous anecdotes. Like the time Ken and Rob, aged 7, were caught 'nicking' lollies from the little shop on the corner. The store owner kept one hostage (Ken) and sent the other one (Rob) home to get their parents. But Rob didn't come back! Eventually Ken was allowed to go home but the shop keeper wouldn't serve Ken again until his mother came to see him and to hear what had happened. Ken quipped that it was the only time he couldn't count on Rob for his total and utter support!
And then two close friends of Lyn's family spoke on behalf of Lyn and the kids. It's a tough thing to get up and speak in those situations and I thought ALL of the speakers did a great job. There were lots of tears and emotion listening to stories about Rob and his life and his achievements.
And then the Minister spoke. He was a lovely man. He had a calming spirit about him. I first met him in the hospital room a week ago when the family, and us, came together and shared a prayer around Rob's bedside. He commented about how it was obvious by listening to the stories, seeing the number of people there, witnessing their grief, that Rob had touched many lives.
And that he did.
This whole thing has impacted on so many people. I know my little family(and friends) circle has certainly been rocked by what's happened. And my sister Debbie, my friends Marie and Margaret, my cousins (especially Jacki who i have been in constant contact with throughout all of this), my aunties and my parents - all saddened by what's happened. All praying for Rob, Lyn and the kids.
Mum and dad came to the funeral too. Both loved Rob (and of course Lyn) and thought very highly of him and had a lot to do with their family over the years at various functions etc. They sat up the back with Jamison as he was not coping particularly well and didn't want to sit up the front with the rest of us so I was thankful they were there to comfort him throughout the service.
And then afterwards. We headed to the farm. Dozens of us. Old friends. Old school mates. Family. Neighbours. Lyn's craft friends. The kids' friends. SO many people. And so much food!!! Ken caught up with old school friends he hadn't seen for many, many years. And they had lots of beers and talked about the past.
i looked around at one stage and saw so many people there. All chatting. Drinking. Sharing stories. And i thought, Rob would have loved this. Loved catching up with these guys. Sharing a beer. Giving them a tour of the farm:(
Here's a few photos. I didn't take many. Just a couple for Ken of the boys! These are all the old neighbourhood boys! And Rob's three brothers - the two guys out the front and Brian, the blond tall one at the back. Brian made me feel the saddest as he reminds me the most of Rob.
Warning, warning..daggy late 70's photo featuring some unsavoury lads in far too short shorts and many who needed a haircut...and yes, Ken's there..with his horrible moustache and the striped shirt. And that's Rob up the back and far left..with the sunnies and a pair of those short shorts on! Bee-autiful!!
And here's some of them now. Leading much more respectable lives:)
So that was our day. I know Lyn and the kids will be ok. She is surrounded by a strong, close and supportive network of family and friends. But to quote the minister during his talk at the funeral, "sometimes life is just a bugger".
And that it is.
(We did the touristy thing the next day and showed Mum and Dad parts of Canberra but I will save those photos for another post.)
